


im so proud of you

by woobff



Series: jacob's healing [2]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, other members are not mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28893066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woobff/pseuds/woobff
Summary: jacob finally finds the love and self worth he deserved.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Series: jacob's healing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118927
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	im so proud of you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Minahri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minahri/gifts).



> this is just a continuation, happy one, for the previous work! there's mentions of past self harm and suicidal thoughts so stay safe!

the television was playing one of their comeback stages, as jacob sat at the far end of the couch. 

the boyz were on break, meaning every one of them returned to their hometown for the holidays. 

_not jacob._

jacob didn't want to go back home. not because of his family. he just couldn't find the energy in himself to pack up suitcases and plaster a fake smile on his face for the two weeks. 

snuggling further underneath the blanket, he let the soft sound of food sizzling in the kitchen distract him. 

kevin had also not left korea, in favour of accompanying jacob. using the excuse of him being tired, when in all, kevin's family knew he just wanted to spend time with his boyfriend. 

" babe, do you wanna eat in the kitchen or outside? " 

" outside please, " jacob replied, before sitting up. 

few seconds later, the smell of kimchi and other fried food filled his senses. grabbing for the remote, jacob turned to a western movie, patting the empty space next to him. 

lunch went silently. it wasn't awkward, and it was most welcomed after being in a dorm with nine other rowdy boys who screamed from one end to one end. 

jacob enjoyed the peace, his heart surging with warmth when kevin laid his head on his shoulder, as he giggled at the funny scene on the tv. 

coughing to try to maintain the butterflies in his stomach, he placed how empty bowl on the coffee table before leaning back on his seat. 

turning his head around, he was face to face with the younger, who had been obviously staring at him for the past minute. 

" what you're looking at? " jacob whispers, his cheeks blushing a redder hue when all kevin did was just smile and shrugging. 

" you're _glowing_ , " he replied, before moving his position to be atop of jacob, bringing along the blanket to cover them both. 

jacob prayed to the gods that kevin wouldnt feel the way his heart was beating against his chest. 

" and im just very grateful for that, you know? you being happy makes me happy, " kevin continues, the words muffled against the crook of the older's neck. 

jacob knew what kevin meant. 

it all felt surreal to him. to feel better and happier. to be in lesser relapses. to feel supported and comforted. 

he remembered the way he was battling suicidal thoughts, from the way he made kevin cried when he relapsed to the way he couldn't sleep for nights. due to the loud thoughts. 

" thank you, kev, " jacob whispers back, arms wrapped tightly around kevin's waist. 

they stayed like that for what seemed like hours, just embracing the warmth of each other, as it snows outside, making everything look like a foggy dream. 

" you know my mom asked about you. about us, " kevin starts after a while. 

" she said she was glad im with you, said something along the lines that you're the best thing that ever happened to me and her family, "

" oh shut up youre just being dramatic, " 

" no im serious! she even loves you more- " 

" _liar_ \- "

" whos the one who got a whole turkey set for thanksgiving? " 

" … " 

" exactly, " kevin laughs when all he got was a poke to his side.

freeing one of his hand, kevin gently carded his fingers through jacob's blonde locks, knowing it serves as a comfort gesture for the older. 

from his peripheral view, he could see the pink scars across jacob's forearms, unhidden, heart in relief when he sees no more fresh cuts. 

he remembered the day he barged into the bathroom, feeling uneasy after eric told him he saw jacob rushing off with a razor in hand. 

he remembered the way he had to call out for sangyeon to break the door through because jacob wasnt answering to his calls. 

he remembered being loss for words when he saw the older perched against the toilet, arms _bloodied_ with his face loosing colour. 

he remembered the cries he let out as he snatched the razor off from jacob's hold not caring that it cut the palm of his hand.

he remembered just trying to make jacob step out of his haze as changmin and haknyeon rushed to clean the multiple cuts he inflicted on himself.

and now seeing jacob slowly getting better , he just felt relieved. 

without sparing a second, kevin sat up and took jacob's hands into his. gently bringing his fingertips along the ridges of the scars on his boyfriend's arm, he lets out a soft sigh. 

" do you know how much im proud of you jakey? " 

" you tell me everyday babe, " jacob chuckles, before leaning forward to plant a soft kiss to the younger's cheeks. 

" thank you for trusting me, " 

" thank you for _staying by me_ , " 

**Author's Note:**

> this is dedicated to user minahri! im sorry this is almost a year overdue but i hope this is what you meant <3


End file.
